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Escaping A Narcissistic Relationship

How to spot a narcissist

Often times narcissist will wear a beautiful mask so it’s hard to decipher who they really are. The last thing you want to do is get caught up in a narcissistic relationship, it can become mentally damaging. Here are some red flags on how to spot a narcissistic person.

• They will often play the victim when something has gone wrong. No matter what they will blame someone or something else for the situation. They do not own up to nor apologize for when they are wrong.

• They like being the center of attention, they will tend to talk about themselves a lot. They also like to talk down about others to lift themselves up, if it means throwing someone else under the bus to gain some spotlight, they will do it. Be careful who you trust with information.

• They lie and twist the truth. They want people to believe their version of a story and will usually create false statements or make things out to be way more dramatic than they really are. If they get caught in a lie they will either create more lies to back themselves up or turn the tables on you and make you out to be a bully.

• They put themselves before anyone else most of the time. All they care about is what they want and will do anything to get it even if it hurts other people. Consequences do not matter to a narcissist in the moment.

• If you try and cross them, you have become a target. Narcissistic people are not good at letting things go, if you try to stand up to them they will get defensive really quick. It’s very common for them to talk against you to other people and make you out to be a villain to make themselves feel better.

How to escape a narcissistic relationship

From personal experience, it’s not going to be easy. Unless they dismiss you from their life get ready for all hell to break lose before you are set free. When you reject a narcissist or call them out on their wrongs they are going to get extremely defensive and fight dirty. They are going to want everyone to know that you have hurt them so get ready for slander. They will say anything they can to try and turn the table on you and make the ending all your fault, but do you know what? It’s going to be ok.

I stayed in narcissistic relationships with people for years due to fear of how they would react. The longer you tolerate it, the longer you will live without peace. I advise trying to quietly and peacefully “fading” yourself out of the relationship. However, if it’s a romantic relationship, it’s going to be a lot harder to leave quietly.

In romantic situations the best thing to do is bite the bullet and cut it off cold turkey, run! Yes they are going to go crazy, they may try to turn your friends against you (but real friends will realize the truth), and they may even relentlessly try to contact you. Do not respond and do not let their tactics of retaliation get to you. Time will pass and eventually they will give up, but if you feed into them you are giving them exactly what they want, attention.

How to heal from a narcissistic relationship

• The best thing you can do is cut all ties with this person. Block their number, block them from all your social media accounts, eliminate all forms of contact with them.

• Don’t entertain the gossip. If you’ve made them mad people probably know about it by now. Do not bring this person up in conversation, and if they are spoken about to you avoid the topic. Don’t feel like you are being mean or rude if you clearly say “I’d rather not talk about them” and change the conversation. If someone is super nosey and persistent about the topic, leave the conversation immediately. Talking about it will only make things worse because words are easily twisted.

• Move on with your life with your head held high. Don’t worry about what other people are saying, I know it’s easier said than done, but over time this will pass if you don’t entertain it. They have already stolen enough of your peace, don’t let them have anymore.


The longer you stay in a toxic relationship with this type of person the more of a toll it can take on your mental state. It may take time to overcome some of the mental abuse (because in my opinion that’s what it is). I have heard that you can pick up traits from the people you are around the most. In order to recover from the mental toll this relationship has taken on you I high recommend practicing positive behaviors. Look for the good in all things, help people other than yourself, and aways try to be positive. It will take time, but time itself can heal you from any damage done by that person.

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When Your Spouse Has Depression

When a spouse has depression it can effect the whole family. I myself struggle with anxiety and depression and there have been times when my symptoms have impacted my marriage. Many times a struggling spouse doesn’t know how to express what they need, therefore the other person doesn’t know how to care for them. In this post I want to give my personal insight on how to care for your partner (Disclaimer: this is based off personal opinions and experience, I am not a doctor).

When your partner is struggling with depression they may show many signs and sometimes no sign at all. Here are some of the common things to look for when your spouse is hurting:

• anger/ short temper/ aggression

• frequent crying and sadness

• reclusive behavior- not leaving the house much and staying to themselves often

• weight loss due to nerves / weight gain due to using food as comfort

• confusion and excessive forgetfulness

• lack of intimacy and romance

• being clingy and needing a lot of your time and attention (I know it can be annoying but please don’t lash out at them, this is a big sign they really need you right now; Talk to them).

Aside from aggression I have experienced all of these symptoms at some point in my life. Now to the important part: What you can do to help ease their pain:

• Let them know you’re there for them and actually be there when you say you will.

• Show compassion, try putting yourself in their shoes. If they’re too paralyzed with depression to get the housework done don’t get angry with them, even offer to help out if you can.

• Be a good listener. Even if you don’t know the right things to say, just listening means the world to someone who’s mentally struggling. And please, if they start to open up pause the television- they need your upmost attention right now

• Ask questions- find out what’s making them feel this way. This is going to give you a better understanding of why they’re experiencing symptoms and how they are feeling internally. Mental illness causes all kinds of havoc in the body, from muscle aches to stomach pain and so much more.

• If they recluse themselves don’t try to force conversation out of them. Simply let them know you’re here for them, that you love them, and give them a little space if they need it. Let them know when they’re ready that you will be right there to listen.

• Go the extra mile- hold them for a little while. When I can’t pull myself together my husband holds me as I cry into his T-shirt; I feel the weight of the world melt off my shoulders. Let them know you love them.

Severe depression is nothing to take lightly. I have personally lost a friend and a family member to mental illness, my family almost lost me a few months ago. Here are 5 red flags that indicates it’s time to insure that they get professional help (no person handles things the same, there are defiantly more than 5 signs, however I’m covering the ones I personally know all too well).

1. Self Harm / Talking About Self Harming

2. Expressing signs of total despair, devastation, or trauma

3. Cutting ties with people, things, and hobbies that normally bring them happiness

4. Turning to bad habits that may be life/health threatening (drugs is a good example)

5. Participating in reckless activities because they no longer care about their life and what could happen to it

It is very important to keep in mind that not all people are going to have the same symptoms, some may show no signs at all. When you hear people quote about how “the happiest people being the saddest” it is normally true, they wear a mask and that’s the most dangerous thing of all. I really hope you will take this blog to heart and always remember to be kind, you don’t know what someone else is going through. I hope Iv shared good insight to those who love someone with mental illness, maybe this will help you see their situation in a different light. My last piece of advice: Sit down and have a loving conversation with your partner, let them know they are very loved, and ask them what you can do to help them.