mental wellness

Starting Over Later In Life

When we graduate high school we go directly into jobs, schools, relationships, etcetera at the young age of 18. Looking back at 18 you realize you were still a kid having to make huge life decisions that might not be the best choices, yet seemed to be at the time. In this article I want to talk about ways that we may be faced with “starting over” in life as we get older.

Choosing The Wrong Career Path

In your teenage years it’s highly unlikely that you will choose a career path that you will stick with until retirement age. Many of us pick a major in college that sounds fun but doesn’t offer a wide range job opportunities, and unfortunately that puts us out of a lot of money and time. Some people choose a career that does work out but only for so long due to the wear and tear it puts on our bodies. And others chose a job that seems great at the time but around a decade later leaves them feeling unfulfilled. If this is you, know that you are not stuck with this occupation. You are never too old to go back to school, branch out and find scholarship or grant opportunities that may be available to you, or even do little bits at a time paying them off one by one instead of drowning in loans. Not all jobs require a degree, if you’re unhappy dig deep into your local job listings and apply for jobs that you think you might enjoy. If it doesn’t end up being “the one” keep trying other things, never give up! You do not have to stay at a job you are unhappy with. Make sure you look for a job that would offer you fulfillment because money is not everything. Most people spend more time at their jobs than anywhere else, so you want to make sure you’re at a place that you enjoy being at and love what you do.

Marrying Someone Who Isn’t Right For You

Unfortunately sometimes love doesn’t last forever. There are many reasons for why it may not have worked out but no matter what the reason was, you are still deserving of love. It is going to take time to heal and it’s completely normal to mourn the end of a marriage. The last thing you need to do is bottle it up and go buck wild, you will only end up hurting yourself more. It’s a good thing to look back and see things you should personally work on for your next relationship because everyone makes mistakes, however don’t let it fall into a regretful depression, use it as a lesson learned. You can also reflect on the traits that your ex had which were toxic for you and use that as a tool to figure out what you want in a future partner, that way you don’t end up in the same situation. Once you’ve figured those things out take all the time you need to reflect on pieces of yourself that you lost in the relationship. Before you start another relationship you desperately need a time of healing and soul searching. Spend time with friends and loved ones, don’t go out looking for love, God will send it to you when the time is right.

Living In The Wrong Location

A lot of people end up sticking around the town they grew up in, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, some of us choose career paths in college and our current location doesn’t offer us the jobs we worked so hard to get. Then there are the people who have always felt a sense of “being stuck” and not feeling fulfilled in life because they haven’t gotten the experience of living outside of their hometown. We live in a big world full of different places to see and things to experience. If you’re not happy where you are, start by taking trips and exploring all the different options this world has to offer. Research cities that have more job opportunities. Moving away can be very scary but just because you move doesn’t mean you can never come back. Go where your heart is calling you and make it a point to keep in close contact with your loved ones from home. If you’re a very family oriented person like I am, make time when possible to go back home and visit your family. Just because your family decided that your current location was where they felt at home doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to stay in the same place. Do your research and find the location that is right for you and can offer you what you need in the workforce.

Not Having Children Yet

Many people start in their late teens and early 20s having children. If you’re in your 30s like I am and don’t have children yet, don’t stress yourself out over it. Some people can’t physically have kids, but thankfully there are many options they can explore to become parents. Some people simply don’t want children and that’s ok! It’s not a shame nor is it selfish to not want to have kids, you have to do what is right for you. And then there are people like me, those who thought they didn’t want kids or thought they wasn’t ready. I have always been told if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never be ready. So if you’re in the same place as I am and you’re in your 30s, you can still try to have a baby. I encourage you to talk with your spouse and your OBGYN, figure up the time you want to try and get pregnant, and go from there.

Financial Problems

When I was in school finances was not something that we were taught about or thought too much about. I don’t know if the school system is teaching it now but if they are not, they definitely should be. When we become old enough to drive we get our first jobs and have that first taste of freedom, saving money is usually the last thing on a young person’s mind. Then some of us decide to go to college and start building up debt in student loans that could take years to pay off. Then there’s the good old credit cards that start coming in the mail offering us “phenomenal” offers that some of us fall into, and that is one deep black hole of possible debts. By the time you get out on your own you are more than likely going to be making enough to pay bills but that’s about all you can afford, and you may already be in some debt. If your in debt don’t fret! Here are some ways you can work your way out:

• Calculate up your bills and deduct your earnings. Whatever you have left put it towards some of your debts and work your way off slowly.

• Find ways to live more frugally. You can do this by couponing, cutting out unnecessary expenses, and using rebate apps on your phone. Also try shopping at price friendly places like Aldi, they have tons of good stuff!

• Declutter your home and have a yard sale or sell your unneeded stuff online and use the money towards paying off your bills.

• Lastly, you can find wonderful side hustles to do alongside your full-time job. There are plenty of wonderful ideas that you can find on Pinterest.

It is not impossible to get out of debt no matter how deep you are in! Do you your best to pay it off a little at a time until you reach your goal. It may take some sacrifices but it is totally worth it in the end.

To summarize everything up, you are never too old to achieve what you want out of life. All it takes is taking that first step and keep moving forward! Never give up on your dreams, this is your life and you should live it to the fullest. Never sell yourself short on the things you can do, you are capable of anything that you put your mind to at any age.